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about
Blue
Age 17
This is song very much represents the coming of age moment that 17 was for me. I was thinking a lot about my white privilege while also struggling with sexism and trying to figure out how my intersections turned me into one whole person. I was also at a confusing point in my sexuality, feeling un attracted to high school boys but receiving a lot of attention from men. In short, I was Blue. The lonely vocals and rock guitar sums up that feeling of both feisty power and powerlessness.
Art: A collage from a graphic novel I wrote about my life when I was 17
lyrics
I learned how to kiss when I was young but I never learned to love anyone
They say trust your friends don’t just trust yourself but I never learned to trust anyone else
So I hallowed my back to make it round, found a little comfort deep down
Oh, my finger tips are turning blue
See what I never learned was what to do
So I strung a guitar cuz it felt right and all at once the dark was truly the night
He showed me how to use my amp as if my will to break should make me go damp
Beauty eyed blonde, you make me squeal, just let me tell you how you should feel
But oh I’m feeling kinda blue
Because he told my fingers what to do
So I grabbed my shoes and a bag of shame and I set on out to find some pain
Hey little white girl, they said to me, with skin that pale you’re never gonna be free
I saw my soul was way down south and my voice was on the tongue of a slave-driver’s mouth
Now what does was mean I’m supposed to do?
Just trying to keep my fingers from turning blue
I’m a pair of eyes and a beating heart. We’re nothing more, we’re told what we are
I used to see the world as right til text books taught me life is black and white
Abuse me, confuse me, tell me what’s true, put me in my place so your place might improve
But oh I think I know just to do
The world’s not black and white, it’s black and blue
credits
from 17-24,
released April 26, 2019
Album was recorded in 2019 by bess hepner at Rolling Crone Records (engineered by Doug Indrick and produced by Erika Lundahl) (rollingcronerecords.com) in Seattle. Mastered by Steve Turnidge at Ultraviolet Studios (www.arsdivina.com) in Seattle.
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