17​-​24

by bess hepner

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
2.
04:08
3.
4.
5.
03:54
6.
7.
8.
9.
04:25
10.
11.
04:23
12.
13.
04:53

about

17-24
I wrote all the recorded songs between these ages. I wanted to create a project that was a cathartic reflection of coming of age, an experience that everyone shares. Click on each song to see what each track descriptions and individual track art. You can choose to read or simply write yourself and your own experiences into my music and guitar.

Album cover art: I made this wood block print in 2004 when I was 10. This snail is named Zelda. She is a character I made up and drew a lot and wrote stories about as a little kid. Later at age 21 I learned that in Zapatista communities snails are symbols of bringing community together and social change (change happens slow like a snail, versus capitalism which moves quickly and ineffectively). I have always felt snails symbolize my identity and ideals and wanted to honor this autobiographical, coming-of-age album with my Zelda print.

credits

released April 26, 2019

Album was recorded in 2019 by bess hepner at Rolling Crone Records (engineered by Doug Indrick and produced by Erika Lundahl) (rollingcronerecords.com) in Seattle. Mastered by Steve Turnidge at Ultraviolet Studios (www.arsdivina.com) in Seattle.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

bess hepner Seattle, Washington

contact / help

Contact bess hepner

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

Track Name: Story Called Time
There’s a story called time about the end of being a girl
It’s kind of scary how fast the plot changes and she’s thrown into the world
She’s trying to grab onto the days before they go rushing by
But she barely has time to yawn and open up her eyes
Track Name: Blue
I learned how to kiss when I was young but I never learned to love anyone
They say trust your friends don’t just trust yourself but I never learned to trust anyone else
So I hallowed my back to make it round, found a little comfort deep down
Oh, my finger tips are turning blue
See what I never learned was what to do

So I strung a guitar cuz it felt right and all at once the dark was truly the night
He showed me how to use my amp as if my will to break should make me go damp
Beauty eyed blonde, you make me squeal, just let me tell you how you should feel
But oh I’m feeling kinda blue
Because he told my fingers what to do

So I grabbed my shoes and a bag of shame and I set on out to find some pain
Hey little white girl, they said to me, with skin that pale you’re never gonna be free
I saw my soul was way down south and my voice was on the tongue of a slave-driver’s mouth
Now what does was mean I’m supposed to do?
Just trying to keep my fingers from turning blue

I’m a pair of eyes and a beating heart. We’re nothing more, we’re told what we are
I used to see the world as right til text books taught me life is black and white
Abuse me, confuse me, tell me what’s true, put me in my place so your place might improve
But oh I think I know just to do
The world’s not black and white, it’s black and blue
Track Name: Fine on my Own
Chorus:
Because you told me to, and I listened to you
Because you told me to, now I won’t listen
Don’t want you to save me, don’t want you to change me
I’ve been doing just fine on my own, I’ve been doing just fine on my own
Don’t want you to save me, don’t want you to change me
Make up your mind so I can make up mine

Stands with two feet ready to leap, ready to run away
Her knitted shoulders carry boulders, she grows older every day
If I swim will I float, if I float will I float away?
Will I wash in the waves and learn to behave or will I push away?

Chorus

They didn’t tell me that I was the girl of a thousand identities
And they didn’t tell me that I would be known by each one of these, of these
Can I please just be me, oh please just be me
And not all the pieces that they put on me, no all the pieces that they put on me

Don’t want you to save me, don’t want you to change me
Cuz I’ve been doing that, yes I’ve been doing that
Track Name: Phone Lines
Why can’t my eyes focus dear
Even when you are so clear to me
Why can’t my eyes focus dear
Even when you are so clear

Why is it darker at night
Before you turn out the lights, my baby?
Why is it darker at night
When my arms are holding me tight?

Why, baby, do I not feel like you even when I hold myself the whole night through
We stick together baby like paper and glue
Then why are we sticking to the phone lines too?
Track Name: Bowl of Fruit
You paint a bowl of fruit forbidden in its loom
The taste is yours to try but judgement’s in the eyes
Of all the hungry ones, money packed in their gums

Tightened by the grief or serving kings and Queens
Pouring them champagne, they toast to your own pain
Make my living off wealth just keeps me on the shelf

The paint we use to paint the fruit doesn’t have a flavor so we grow our own
Let’s eat together, let the juices drip
We are the kings and queens without the thrones, never to be alone

You paint a bowl of fruit, dripping in your youth
Taste it if you’re brave but don’t if you are sane
Who do you wanna be- American or family
Track Name: Like a Child
You left your heart beneath my ribs and you lay in my limbs
Said my skin tastes like dryer lint, my hair like lemon and mint
It’s always, it’s always this way

Your arteries have grown to vines, my veins are entwined
Your face is tattooed to my mind, so simple and so kind
It’s always, it’s always this way

And I feel like a child who hasn’t learned how to take anything for granted
I’m wild oh so wild
This wildness is my obsession, my suppression of things so mild
Track Name: bess hepner (feat. Billy Dean Thomas, Deana Tolstunov) - Pure Rejection (interlude)
I’m a lonely girl, I’ve been alone before so you can walk right out the door

I don’t know what to do, seeing you
I can’t get rid of you
Fine, I’ll sip my wine, I’m all mine, do anything to get you out my mind
But I try and I try and I try to get your attention
But all I get from you is pure rejection
Track Name: Call My Name
You could call out my name but you know I won’t listen
You could sing louder than me but you know I’ll resist it
All the things that you said I couldn’t listen
Cuz you know better than I ever know how you try to bring me down with each fall

My voice never shakes until you doubt it
I could sing louder than you until you shouted
I knew my own power before you doubt it
Cuz I’m allowed to be what you’re not
Listen close, I will show what I am, what you’re not...

You could call out my name but you know I won’t listen
You could sing louder than me but you know I’ll resist it
All the things that you said, that you said I couldn’t listen
Cuz I know what I am, what I am
I know what I am, what I am
I like what I am, what I am
Track Name: bess hepner (feat. Tess Domb Sadof) - Molasses and Honey (interlude)
I wanna tell you that lately I’ve been feeling like molasses and honey
Without any ladle I’m unable to move out of my skin
Track Name: Beast in Me
Now the wind is dying I can hear my voice above the broken trees, a sound I didn’t know I had within the depths of me

And though I’ve climbed into the belly of the beast I couldn’t tell you least of what I saw before the blindness that I saw within me

And though I may be curious I’m overcome with loneliness
The fire that burns within my heart is fire that I no longer see

I could, I could be the beast you see in me and
I could, I could cry with more salt than the sea and
I could, I could be the fire that burns the trees and
I could, I could be the beast you couldn’t see

Now the wind is dying I can feel my roots grow deeper than the trees
I didn’t know that I could find home in this rainy breeze
(Find some home, find some home)

And oh the feeling of my mother’s hair
To miss a place no longer there
The smell of rosemary now is floating in the breeze

If you like bess hepner, you may also like: